I wish that since my last post things for me had changed. However, they haven't. I am still struggling with a depression I've never experienced. I feel like a failure in personal, spiritual and physical aspects of my being. I honestly feel like someone trapped in a bubble and I'm watching what is going on in my life screaming "Fix that stupid" and yet watching myself make the same mistakes over and over again. It is a horrible nightmare.
After a long chat with my husband today I believe that I have the accountability that I need through him now. We discussed my feelings, my actions and my doubts. He was truly an amazing man as he listened to all I had to say and with love he then gave me wisdom and encouragement. Both of which I needed desperately.
Since moving to Atlanta, I have watched myself slip into oblivion and thought I had no way out of the deep abyss I now find myself in. Knowing in my head that God will see me through and knowing in my head that there is light at the end of the tunnel but feeling in my heart heavy and trapped. What a frightful feeling. I know I am not out of the dark yet but I at least feel a hand holding mine in the dark. The Lord definitely sends us exactly what we need at the exact moment we need it.
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