Thursday, June 2, 2011

Struggling

The last few days for me have been an uphill battle.  I have no idea why. I just know that every moment seems like a huge struggle.  I don't want to get out of bed. I seem to only fight with my kids. I trudge through school. I procrastinate on dinner till I'm frustrated and just wanna scream.  
I have found myself slipping into an oblivion and don't care that I am.  Several verses keep popping into my head... "Look to the ant, you sluggard.", "Think on whatever is righteous, pure and true" and many others.  I think my prayer to the Lord is all that is holding this shred of anything together.  Somehow he is giving me the strength I have (ever so little it seems) to trudge through this dismal day.  
My prayer is that each day I will hold on to a little more of His strength and a little less of the selfish me that has seemed to take over my whole being.  I want to stand up tall and be a loving mom whom her kids will always be proud to say "That's my Mom".  I want to be the wife that has the home ready for her husbands arrival.  I want to be the teacher that makes learning fun.  I am currently failing in all accounts but I know my Lord has better things for me, I just need to give up myself and see the wonderful life he has for me instead. 

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